A man can eat razor blades for breakfast, be the most ruthless shark in business, relax with a brisk game of “no rules” rugby and refer to his sex life by saying he just likes to “Get ‘er done”. He can earn the nick-name Bluto for his brutish ways but the first time he experiences the issue of delayed ejaculation, he can cry like a baby. No swimmers today, no erection tomorrow? It’s time to panic.

Delayed Ejaculation Doesn't Have To Be an Issue for Men, Photo by rbbaird, Flickr

Men who start to doubt themselves because of delayed ejaculations are easy to spot in everyday life. You’ll see them in the bookstore. Instead of slavering over Hustler they’ll be in the men’s health department, stealthily looking in the index under “I”.

They’ll go to the gym as usual, but not to strut their stuff. They’re skulking in the background, balefully noticing the wrinkly old-timers, thinking, “Is this how it starts?” Their faith has been shattered. Just like Peter, when Jesus said: “Get on top of water and walk, for any sake! Nothing to it as long as you have faith!” Peter seemed to be saying: “Glub glub.” Yup. It’s all in the mind.

New age gurus always tell you that you’ll get out of life whatever it is that your mind constantly dwells upon. But a man who can’t cum doesn’t need to dwell, or even to mull over his delayed ejaculation. He doesn’t need to entertain the notion of coming out dry for one minute. The idea just has to flit through his mind for a nano-second and the damage is done. Then he becomes a victim of the old “What do you think of when I say DO NOT think about elephants?” syndrome. Here comes Jumbo! It would be much easier to treat this complaint if it had a physical cause. Although there can be physical reasons, the highest proportion of non orgasmic men don’t get to see the fireworks because they’ve lost faith in their own ability to produce that experience.

This puts the nervous male at the opposite end of the “speed of delivery” spectrum from where he started out. He seems to be cursed by the inability to fit himself into the generally accepted time frame for reaching orgasm. (Who’s checking this, and gathering data?) Early in his sex-life, he felt that he was coming too fast. Now he’s stuck with the opposite problem. Is there no middle ground?

It’s unfortunate that men put themselves through all this drama about coming, or not. Women are quite aware that it’s absolutely possible to have a satisfying sex experience without an orgasm. So, who is the man trying to fool when he fakes it? Is he protecting a woman from the sad truth that no genetic material was released? Why protect her? Who’s the failure? Is he faking it because he wants her to think that she got him to orgasm? Does he feel it’s her job? Or is he hiding the truth because he feels it reflects poorly on his masculinity? Any ideas?

While a condom may disguise the delayed ejaculation problem for the man engaging in anonymous one night stands, heaven help him if he tries to introduce the latex into an already established relationship which has never before involved prophylactics. His fidelity will be called into question. His problem won’t be that he can’t come. He may be told to GO!

Because he knows that sex is a mental phenomenon, he gets himself some Celexa to treat his growing depression. Maybe this’ll have the side effect of giving me a real gusher, he thinks. But the scene in his bedroom takes an unexpected turn. He’s been at it for 45 minutes, now, with no end in sight and a partner snoring away. At least she won’t be there with her measuring vial!

Women know when men don’t come. Each guy has his own death–throes type of come face. Each guy has his own strangling, drowning, gurgling vocalizations. Each simulates electrocution in his own way. Women know, and they accept it as Nature’s wisdom. Otherwise we’d have a squad of old men out there, stopping by the old Mattress Mary’s place on the way to the funeral parlor for a final go. Try getting child support payments out of a corpse!

Many men claim that women are less forgiving of a non-comer than they are of men who are impotent. This too has its roots in Nature itself. Women are hard wired to expect reproduction after sex. God, no! Not consciously! They laugh in your face if you tell them that. So, they far prefer it if men come, but it’s on such a deep primitive level that they only notice a fleeting urge to do a Lorena Bobbit before moving on.

Three tips for women who want to reassure a quivering, unproductive male.

• If he denies it, you deny it and move on.
• If he admits it and wants to discuss it, point out the advantages – no babies, no extra laundry.
• If he admits it and doesn’t want to talk about it – let it go.

So come on folks. Have some fun already! You’re not making a porno movie, are you? You don’t HAVE to have a cum shot! Delayed ejaculation is not as big a deal as you would have it.

What Search Terms Got People Here:

• no ejaculation flow
• people from developing countries with all belongings
• prolonged ejaculation time