I heard you talk about zombies so I had to join in.

The stupid government is always offering worthless classes--food handling, CPR, driving--but in their attempts to curb supposed dangers like "salmonella," "choking," or "vehicular manslaughter," they've ignored the far more likely, far more dangerous threat of ZOMBIE INFESTATION. Thankfully, the zombie-killing expert Wannabe is around to save your ass. Cut out this guide, post it in a conspicuous location in your home, and you'll be (somewhat) prepared when you wake up one morning to find your neighborhood overrun with brain-hungry swarms of the rotting undead. Best of luck!

DECAPITATION.

To kill zombies, you need to destroy their brains. The most surefire route is simply lopping off the cranium with a chainsaw, machete, or samurai sword. Mind the follow-through, however-- anything less than 100 percent severance just isn't good enough.

BLUDGEONING.

Any blunt object--from a baseball bat to a brick--wielded with suitable force at the cranium will destroy the brain. But be quick on your feet and keep your eye on the target, slugger--when you're this close to a zombie, miss even once and you might as well just hand your brains to the zombie on a silver platter.

BURNING.

Don't have the convenience of a sniper rifle to take out zombies from afar? The next best thing is a Molotov cocktail--just make sure the zombies are far enough away so they'll be reduced to ashes before they can shamble after you.

EXPLODING.

A solid technique, but one that requires heavy weaponry. In the chaos that will doubtlessly strike an urban center after a zombie infestation, make your way to a military storehouse or a morally dubious pawn shop and acquire a rocket launcher. Then shoot, load, and repeat.

maven US Age: 38	pornask Edmonton Age: 25	pothead Fort McMurray Age: 24	Mark Edmonton Age: 33
MADAMEWEB Italy Age: 30	Jewelz BC Age: 28	hmnknvs Calgary Age: 26	Lynn Newfoundland Age: 22

View all (15)

Jenna Medina, OH Age: 23	i think you're my new favorite member.
flora_tink (1998) Age: 20	hi there =)
Kirk Courtaney BC Age: 24	Ah I see you play "the deanimator. " Is it cold there?
Deryck Tennessee Age: 23	Let us talk more I seem to enjoy it
Twilight-Spider Edmonton Age: 24	You forgot [b]necromancer[/b]. Necromancers can kill zombies, no problem... But they'd rather control them through fear and domination of the darkest arts. .... Why are you in antarctica?